Her destiny, his light
by Michaela18
Summary: Initiation Reimagined... We follow the course of Initiation through two mystery character's POV


**Day one**

"I have to be back in ten minutes," he says upon entering the room, yet she is quiet in return. The only sound that can be heard is the light thud when she lands on her knees and the sound of a zipper being opened.

Fabric rustles and then he moans quietly. "Fuck, what are you doing to me?" he asks huskily and when she just looks at him with innocent eyes, he decides to let her run this show.

Her hands gently pull his enlarged penis out of the confines of his underwear. Slowly and carefully her hands are running up and down the flesh until his erection is at full force. She is tracing the veins with the tip of her pointer finger - up and down and all around. Then she pulls the fabric further until she can see his balls being freed. One of her hands finds a steady rhythm on his shaft while the other cups his balls. They are just as heavy as she remembers.

Making sure she is looking him straight in the eye, to heighten the effects of her ministrations, her lips move forward and suck on each sack in turn before tracing her tongue upwards and along the veins leading to the leaking tip. Her hands still when she reaches the very top of his exposed glans and places the tip of her tongue onto the leaking slit. The taste of his liquid doesn't fully distinguish her thirst and she closes her lips around the tip and sucks as much as she can inside her mouth. The vacuum she creates with her action makes him moan quietly, for he is aware that any interruption would not be good with his tight schedule needing to be upheld.

Encouraged by his involuntary reaction she sucks harder and moves her lips lower until he reaches the back of her throat. Focusing hard on breathing through her nose, she relaxes her throat and moves him further downwards, swallowing like crazy to present him with just the right stimuli. The sensations are overwhelming him immediately and before she can move him further in any direction he swells and comes down her throat in multiple hot spurts.

She can tell he is holding tight rein on the sounds he might be making, afraid to alert anyone passing by to what's going on inside the room they are currently hidden in.

Her swallowing never ceased and now she helps him gently out of her mouth, licking, kissing and cleaning as she goes.

"Thank you," he bends down and gives her a soft kiss all while helping her stand up on her own feet.

His arms are rubbing over hers with increasing pressure and his kiss becomes more urgent quickly,

Suddenly there is loud banging on the door.

"Come on, time is up. Get going," the person on the door doesn't sound willing to compromise or leave and with a heavy heart he kisses her goodbye for now with an unspoken promise of 'later' hanging between them.

…

**Day two**

"I am mad at you," she hisses while he pushes her into the dark and foremost empty hallway.

"You lost your temper," she admonishes further when he drags her along with his so much larger steps.

"There was no need to act the way you did," she growls when he grabs her arms and pushes her into the rocks.

"That was not the man I fell in love with," she doesn't hold back with the criticism when his mouth finds hers with an urgency she never saw before. It shuts her up when she suddenly realizes he needs to get it all out of his system, whatever bothered him is still eating him up from deep inside.

"Fuck me," she demands and moans when his hands grab her ass and haul her close. He rubs his jeans clad erection against the apex of her thighs, and she moans into his mouth. His hands open the button and zipper of her pants while hers do the same to his. A few yanks and both are falling down, pooling around ankles that are still enclosed by heavy boots.

When kicking doesn't work, she bends down and unties her laces while he fondles her ass. Sighing deeply, she just turns slightly and undoes his also before rising up to her full height.

Within seconds her shoes and pants are gone and so are his. His hands never left her ass and now grab a tight hold and lift her up while entering her in one fell swoop. Her legs go around his waist and her ankles cross behind his back to secure her position.

"Fuck," she moans, and he grunts in accordance with his hard thrusts. "Oh yes, keep fucking me, babe. I want you to put all your anger into your thrusts. Take me hard and fast. Let it all out," she demands and bites his earlobe. His thrusts increase to a punishing rhythm and she relishes in the feelings he creates within her.

"Close," he growls, and she nods against his cheek. His fingers spread on her ass and both his pointer fingers are starting an assault on her anus. The sensation, together with his hard thrusts. are getting her closer to orgasm, but she is not there yet.

She can feel him swell inside her and knows that it's now or never. Her hands find new purchase on his shoulders and she lifts up and then lets herself fall back down, impaling herself so much deeper and at the same time he changes the angle of his fingers in a way that she ends up impaling herself on one of his thick fingers. The accidental penetration provides her with a one of a kind pleasurable pain that kicks her over the edge and far beyond. She is mewling and keening while she comes and his mouth finds hers in an urgent mission to silence her.

His thrusts slow and the kiss softens, yet his finger remains firmly planted inside her ass, not moving an inch.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asks in between kisses.

"Love me until the end," she quips and snuggles into his strong frame and broad shoulders. His arms are holding her safe and secure and if the surroundings were better, she would fall asleep right then and there.

"Come on, we can't linger," he sounds apologetic and this is enough of a concession for her. He is back to being the man she fell in love with. She moans when he slowly retrieves his finger.

"Maybe sometime?" he asks, and she nods. "Thank you," he kisses her forehead, "for knowing me so well." He kisses her cheeks. "Thank you, for keeping me from losing myself." He kisses her lips once more. "Thank you for being my anchor."  
She only nods and he lets her down. Both get cleaned up and dressed quietly, no words are needed.

"I have to head back," she sounds apologetic, but he waves her off.

"It's just for a little while. It will be better soon and then we can spend all day and night together." She raises her eyebrows at that, and he chuckles. "I applied for vacation time and it was granted. I, uh, asked for both of us, actually." She quirks an eyebrow but doesn't say a word. "We have one week together," he states proudly, and she smiles so wide and bright, it is taking his breath away - something only she can do, his beacon of light.

"Will you convey my thanks to Max?" She bats her eyelashes and he smirks.

"Eighteen days," he reminds her while nodding to indicate his willingness to do so.

"Eighteen days," she reiterates "and then we don't have to hide anymore."

"It was your choice," he reminds her. "You and your damned parents insisted on 'certain customs and procedures needing to be upheld'. It would have been well within our rights to be together before now," he stubbornly repeats what he has been telling her over the course of the last two years. Repeatedly!

"I accepted my parent's wisdom and so did you," she reproaches, and he cringes. "It was the logical thing to do," she reminds him softly of why they did what they did.

"Yes," he admits, "but that doesn't mean I have to like it. It's too dangerous," he growls once more with heat.

"Don't you trust me?" She sounds hurt and rightly so. "I can hold my own. I choose to be my own person first and foremost. We wouldn't be together if we weren't who we are as individuals. I understand your concern, but this is something that has to be done the right way. Procedures have to be followed and rules upheld," she states, and he knows when to back off.

"I love you," he states boldly.

"As do I," she returns and after one last kiss they go their separate ways. For now.

…

**Day three**

"I knew I was right!" he quietly growls.

"What were you thinking?" he admonishes further.

"Today, I saw a different side of you and I scares me to death not knowing what it might do in the future." He leans forward and places a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you and I want you to be with me, always. Don't ever scare me like that again," he takes a deep breath to calm himself, "I don't know what I would do without you in my life. Well," he shrugs, "I do know what I would do, but raining fire and fury over the Dauntless would not do anyone any good. You are my beacon calling me home and if that light stops only darkness prevails. I am begging you, for the greater good of all that live here, be careful in future."

Of course she doesn't respond.

"Just promise me that in future you will use what you were taught and fight! There is no honour is letting someone weaker win out of a false sense of what feels right to you!" Her eyes don't open, her hand doesn't twitch. The only sign of life is the steady rhythm of her chest moving with every breath she takes.

"I have to go, but I will be back to check on you later. Please wake up soon. I love you!"

And with that he gets up and leaves the hospital room where his love is laid out to rest.

…

**Day four**

"You were supposed to stay in bed and recover," he is already pissed beyond believe and she wisely decides to not say a word, but lets him get it all out of his system.

"I was told that you released yourself against doctor's orders when I came to visit. And then you had the audacity to take a train ride without me," he is on a roll, so she is getting comfortable on the bed, taking care to not wince with each movement although her body feels like it's on fire. "but that's not all," he continues "you then had to go and make a scene."

He takes a deep breath before growling loudly in frustration.

"Fraternizing with the enemy. Talking back to your superiors in front of others. FACTION BEFORE BLOOD!" He shouts and she winces without conscious thought.

He did take notice, even in his aggravated state and lowers his voice.

"Dauntless are tough, Dauntless follow rules or they will be considered mutinous which will reflect badly on me and others looking after you. You need to show willingness to be taught, you need to show that you belong. Our faction is the only faction you should acknowledge. No other man is allowed to touch you!"

It seems that is a big no-no in his book, and she files it away for a discussion at a later time when he is more rational. After all, Dauntless has a lot of male members and she does not demand he has to stop talking to female members. This hypocrisy has to end and soon, but not now. She will show him the errors of his way another time. There is a time for everything, and good things will come to those who wait.

"Stay far away from people who fancy you! You are mine!" He prolongs every word to bring home the importance. Nobody takes away his light, he will kill whoever dares to try.

Jesus, does he not know how utterly ridiculous he is? There are things that will never be prevented and one of them is being around male members. She knows it and he knows it too.

He must get it all out to feel better and it is working. His pacing slows and his features soften ever so slightly. Taking one final turn in front of the bed he walks out the door and she cranes her neck to see what he is up to. She can hear drawers slam open and shut and then footsteps coming back her way.

"Lift your shirt," he demands, and she does try. The pain is getting worse and she is getting stuck in the middle of removing said shirt until large, calloused hands take over and gently remove it for her.

"Sit still," he demands and the audible click of a bottle being opened is all the warning she gets before his hands start rubbing the cool lotion onto her bruised flesh.

It hurts, but she knows it's best not to remind him. He is surprisingly gentle and she appreciates the effort it takes for him to not show his bad mood.

"Turn around," he demands and gently guides her during her rotation on top of the bed.

His hands slather lotion all over her chest and arms, making sure to cover each visible mark that was left on her creamy skin. The whole process is clinical and has nothing to do with foreplay or lovemaking. He doesn't even look twice when her nipples pebble and goosebumps appear on the skin when he is working on one part of it.

Once done he caps the lotion and walks into the bathroom to grab a towel to spread on the bed so she can lie down for a little while as the cream soaks into the skin.

He doesn't lie down in the bed next to her, instead he covers her with a black sheet and pulls a chair over to sit close.

"Feeling better," she asks when he finally relaxes and slouches against the back of the armchair, his long legs outstretched, his bare feet showing as he crosses his ankles.

"Not really," he chuckles, "but life with you will always be a rollercoaster full of surprises and I don't want to miss any of them. Doesn't mean I will like most of them," he grumbles in annoyance and she laughs out loud.

"You fell in love with me for a reason,' she reminds him, and he smiles back at her.

"Yes, I did. Little did I know it would come back to bite me," he tries to sound annoyed, but it doesn't really work for his eyes never lose the twinkle they have when he is thinking about all the good times they've had so far. "Just... promise me to show what you are capable of and not what you assume them to expect. Wipe those damned cocky smiles from their faces! Bullies and cowards have no place in our faction and have to be ranked out to ascertain they will not taint our morale with theirs," he demands, and she nods in consent. "I need to hear you say it," he states.

"I promise I will not hold back if needed..."

She takes a deep breath before reciting the manifesto. "We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices. We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace."

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive," he adds and they smile at each other, both once more at peace with themselves and the decisions they have made.

He kisses her forehead. "I am going to make you a sandwich while you let the cream work its magic. Any preference?"

"Surprise me," she smiles and lays back comfortably.

She is almost dozing off when he returns with a big plate full of small sandwiches neatly cut in squares or triangles.

"I hope that's for both of us," she stammers out with wide eyes.

"Of course, I am still growing, and you need to bulk up a bit more." He looks at her and then raises his eyebrows in surprise upon seeing her eyes shooting daggers and her mouth thinning into a barely there line. "I love you, but you know that more muscle mass won't hurt, so don't get your panties in a twist."

"Impossible," she huffs, "as if you'd let me wear any."

"When you are not around me you better cover that sweet pussy and hot ass up," he playfully warns.

Both know it is still what he wishes she would do and that she might wear them just to keep him happy and content. No reason for him to become unhinged for assumed threats to what's his.

"Eat and then I will bring you back downstairs," he states the obvious.

"Sixteen days and I don't give a shit anymore what others might think!" He warns full of ominous meaning.

"I love you," she simply states.

"You too," he replies in kind.

…

**Day five**

"You did good," he praises when he drags her into the utility room that just happened to be right there when he caught up to her.

"Then why don't I feel like I did good? There was nothing honourable about my win," her voice is muffled by the fabric of his shirt when he pulls her close to him before leaning down and kissing her desperately.

"You did not enjoy it and that makes it honourable for both of you," he states with conviction and although he can't see her smile, he can feel it.

"Better?" he queries.

"Look, I just don't want you to hold back. I want you to show the others who you truly are. You are strong, you are smart, you can be cunning and most of all you have a big heart. That's what I love about you the most."

"My big heart?"

"No, all those attributes. I am thankful for your big heart though, for I doubt we would be together if you did not feel the need to give me a chance when we first met. And all the chances afterwards. You took a chance on me and I promise to never let you go unless you ask me to," he swears solemnly.

"I would have gotten to know the real you eventually. Once you dropped the crazy asshole act, I would have recognized my soulmate and given you a chance to show me who you truly are," she states and then jumps up to kiss him.

"We don't have time for this today. I must get going in a few minutes and you were heading to dinner. Remember," he kisses her in return, "carbs and vegetables..." he doesn't get to say more. Her tongue invades his mouth, intent to conquer and conquer she does.

"I am sorry, but we have to get going. I will see you later, love you," and with that he leaves through the door.

She does see him later, as promised, but differently than she thought. The asshole persona is back in full force and she has to find a way to compose herself or else she would tell him where to shove it in front of everyone. He'd have to kill her.

…

**Day six**

They are avoiding each other. She knows he is still beyond pissed, but so is she and there won't be any loving words. If they were to be alone, an epic fight would break out, one where neither of them cared if they exposed themselves. She knows tempers need to be rendered useless and calmness has to prevail so she does what she can to avoid him.

He knows he fucked up, yet he is still fuming. He warned her to respect her superiors and she has to go and open her mouth. For what? Bravery has different facets and he is learning fast they have vastly different opinions on which ones are acceptable and which are not.

God help him if she comes near him today. He knows his temper will boil over and he will try to teach her a lesson he thinks she needs to learn. He is also aware that threat of exposure will not keep him from lashing out as soon as he gets the chance. So he hides away and prays that he can cool off soon, but then his memory returns in full force and even his love is not enough to stop him from feeling the anger her outsmarting him has caused.

…

**Day seven**

She is in a weird mood, so he continues to keep his distance. She is lashing out in anger and it hurts him to see her like this, but somehow, he is glad that she can let it out on others and that he is not the target. For now. He senses that there is something else fuelling her rage and he does care to find out, but not enough to get the ass whooping of his life. No thanks! Tactical retreat is just something he read about before today, now he fears it might be good to revise those chapters.

Tomorrow she is in for a treat and he is praying to anyone who is willing to listen that it will put her in a better mood. One can only hope.

…

She is full of emotions. They are overwhelming and yet, when she lets go of some, they seem to come back to her multiplied.

She is hurting, she knows she should be able to feel compassion and regret. She worries that the feelings of satisfaction and revenge well served are there to stay. Feelings she knows she should not enjoy but do everything in her power to prevent.

He hasn't been near; he didn't dare to and it feels good to feel the pain. It makes her feel alive and that is something she needs right now.

'Who am I?', she keeps asking herself and the answer is not forthcoming.

Who am I turning into? Am I turning into a darker, more callous version of myself? No, she decides that this will be dealt with today. She will find a way to let out the rage, to diminish the sense of revenge well served and she will be able to return to who she was just days before.

There is still love, there is still kindness, she is still brave and she will defend others if it means putting down her life for them, for she is Dauntless.

…

**Day eight**

Salvation came and she is feeling so much better. Pretence has been upheld, calm was restored, and she feels more like herself today.

There are new thoughts and worries swirling around her mind, though. She is longing for him and slightly hurt he is avoiding her today.

This could have been a day where they had time to be themselves. A day where they could hide away and forget the harsh reality they are living in.

They could have spent a few hours in bed, yet when she tried to find him he still avoided her.

Were her signs not clear enough, she wonders. Or maybe he realized that life with her would be just too complicated. That love doesn't always prevail and that there were other women out there who could be a better fit.

Well, she saw him from afar, talking and being touched. She wanted to march over and stake her claim, but she couldn't. She was stuck in a trap of her own making.

SHE insisted on keeping it quiet.

SHE insisted on which law to follow.

He played along because he wanted to please her. She knew it and she took advantage. Now she wants the whole world to know he is hers and only hers to touch.

The day ends on a low note and her doubts return when she lies in bed alone.

The night turns out to be a real nightmare and sleep eludes her for most of the night.

…

**Day nine**

He knows he should have sought her out. It's eating at him that he didn't. Now he doesn't know how to make amends.

Shit turned real and his work kept him so busy he couldn't even check on her.

Now he does have the time and she is nowhere to be found. He has an idea where she might have gone, but there is no way to intercept her or take her away for their overdue chat.

So he stays in the shadows and tries to watch out for her.

Finally he does see her and he sighs in relief at seeing her relaxed and smiling. Of course, she would be excited, his little thrill seeker. He is cursing at himself for not being there with her, to experience it together.

It was partly his own doing and he can't blame anyone else.

He waits for her to finish dinner and then, when nobody is looking her way, he kidnaps her from right under their noses.

She comes willingly and doesn't put up a fuss. There is happiness in her heart once more and she just wants to turn the page and enjoy a stolen hour or two with her man.

He drags her all the way to his apartment without being seen and as soon as they enter he grabs her tight and doesn't let go.

"I love you and I am sorry," he states and she knows how much he means it.

"I love you and I forgive you, if you forgive me," she looks at him with worried eyes and bites her lip.

His fingers automatically remove her lip before she can draw blood and then he kisses her. Both know they are forgiven and a new leaf has been turned.

Their kiss deepens and gains in urgency.

"I need you NOW," he growls and she just moans, leaning back and giving him more access to her exposed neck.

The submissive pose is all he needs for he knows her well.

Neither is gentle nor careful when they hastily remove each other's clothing. Their teeth clash when they join each other again. He picks her up and lies down on his back, never ceasing the kiss they share.

She doesn't hesitate to lift up and impale herself on his rigid length.

"Fuck yes," he shouts and then groans when she sets a rapid pace that will throw him over the edge within the next minute.

His hands find purchase on her breasts and he rubs her stiff nipples while she moans in delight.

"Will you rub my clit," she asks sweetly while grinding on his dick and of course he obliges. Whatever his lady wants, she gets. The sensations are overwhelming both and they come to a crashing release with her biting his shoulder so hard there is an almost immediate purple bruise depicting her teeth.

"Fucking hell, I can't move," he complains, and she laughs the most carefree laugh he has heard from her in the last ten days. "Not funny," he grumbles but can't help smiling at her.

"Make up sex is great," she declares, and he shudders.

"Doesn't mean we have to fight just to have great sex," he sounds a bit scared and she gives in straight away.

"Sex with you is great. PERIOD," she soothes, and it definitely works. His ego comes roaring back to life and so does his cockiness.

"Want to pretend you are still mad at me and devour me again?"

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and she fake gags.

"Hey, no need to be rude," he growls playfully, and they simply relax and enjoy cuddles and kisses until it is once more time for her to go.

"Be careful from now on. You are strong, you can do it. Have faith," are his parting words to her.

…

**Day ten**

He has been worried about her. He would never admit it out loud, but his little warrior was in for something she did not expect.

The wait was driving him mad. Is this how parents feel while their kids take the aptitude test? Or on Choosing Day? He wonders more than once, each time rethinking the possibility of having children, but then his queen's face comes into his mind and he knows he will do whatever she wants in that regard.

Good thing nobody can read his mind, he would be the laughing stock of the faction. All strong, strict and always up to take people down a notch or two on the outside, yet on the inside he is a soft mess when it comes to her. She is his kryptonite. She is his beacon of hope and light. She is his and with her he is real.

He saw her, but she did not see him. She looked upset and it tore at his heart not being able to walk up to her, not being able to take her in his arms and not being able to soothe those worries.

It helped him to know where she was and who she was with. She made a good choice and he couldn't fault her. Once more he wishes she would not have put so many restrictions on them.

"I love you!" He simply stated when he was able to hold her in his arms without fear of being found out.

All she did was sigh and bury her face into his chest and let herself be soothed by his tight embrace and the steady rhythm of his heart.

They stood like this for ages, just enjoying each other and their closeness. Eventually he led her to the sofa. Today was not a day to bring her into his bed, she had to know his feelings were sure and steady outside the bedroom.

She was relishing in the comfort of knowing his devotion was real. That they were real and nothing that was thrown at her would seem as bad as it had when she was on her own. He made her stronger without even trying and she loved him even more for that.

…

**Day eleven, twelve, thirteen **and** fourteen** were spent in the same fashion. He waited for her to come to him and when she did, he was there with open arms, ready to help her heal herself.

…

**Day fifteen**

Something was different today. He knew it, but wasn't allowed to tell her he knew.

She didn't come to him, but he tracked her down nevertheless.

Not one for public speeches he just walked up to her and without a second thought joined her in her hiding spot.

"What if someone..." she started and he stopped her with a finger over her lips.

"I don't care. YOU are the most important thing in my world, and they will find out soon enough," he stated, and she knew not to argue with him.

He was right and she was smart enough to admit it to herself. She once more sought the shelter of his strong arms, relishing in his strength and marvelling at his willingness to do what he does to make her happy. She knew from the get-go he did it only for her, because he knew what she wanted and it was important to him to be able to give it to her. He sacrificed a lot to be with her and she vowed to make it up to him. Just a few more days and then she would show the faction that she was his and he was hers. She was ready to be claimed and claim him in public.

With her mind made up she closed her eyes and let the security he provided lull her into much needed sleep.

…

**Day sixteen**

He was livid. He had decided to watch her today and regretted his decision soon after, but the real problem was that he had no chance of talking to her without giving away what he had done. He had truly fucked himself by being backed into a corner of his own making.

He knew she needed him, but he also knew that one look at him and she would know what he had done.

A progress report that showed her how well she was holding herself should do the trick, he decided and got to work behind the scenes, like he did best and with all the accolades, as usual, going to someone else.

She did not seek him out this time, others got to her first and he was immensely grateful for her having loyal friends. He heard all about it through different sources that knew he needed to be kept in the loop.

With that he decided to wait for her to come to him this time. He would give her the time to sort through her thoughts and act accordingly.

…

**Day seventeen**

She knew he would be livid. Heads would roll and there was nothing she would be able to do to stop him, so she kept quiet and made those closest to her promise to not tell - yet.

She knew him well and she knew how to work with his temper. If she was able to get her revenge first, he would accept that justice had been served.

He knew something was wrong as soon as he got up in the morning. There was an undercurrent that had not been there before. He had to seek her out to make sure she was okay, but when he did see her he knew his worst fears had come to pass.

The faction was fortunate enough that he was spotted by just the right person in the nick of time or there would have been anarchy.

He was dragged by his mentor, supported by good friends and family, into an empty training room and set loose.

When he regained his composure he looked shocked upon seeing the destruction and havoc he had wrought. Punching bags were ripped off the ceiling, benches strewn across the floor and his hands were dripping blood onto the floor.

"You have to let her handle this the way she wants," the brother of his heart told him.

"She is strong, more than you give her credit for. Let her exact revenge the way it needs to be done and justice will be served while laws are upheld. She wouldn't want you to be accused of murder and it would kill her if you were found guilty," his mentor tries to reason with him and he does understand the wisdom and logic, yet his heart is screaming for him to do something.

"Sometimes the bravest thing is to let the fear play out and just watch it unfold until you conquer it," never had his friend sounded so wise and mature.

"Come on, time to get some fresh air after we have your hands looked at," his mentor and friend grab him by the elbows and navigate him where they need him to go.

He goes willingly, knowing his brother will look after his beloved.

…

**Day Eighteen**

Justice had been served and he was the first to admit it felt good to not be responsible for it. His heart was lighter knowing one threat was gone. Of course he would be the only one seeing it this way, he was more than aware of it.

She felt guilty, yet she knew she shouldn't. Justice had been served in a cruel way and not what she wanted although the end effect was the same outcome she had hoped for. One threat gone, two more to take care of.

He hated what he had to do, what needed to be done. There was no way of neglecting his obligations and he knew she would take it the wrong way until he was given a chance to explain.

He caught his brother's eye and wordlessly told him what he needed him to do. With relief he saw his brother follow his light into the dark to bring her back to him.

She felt utter betrayal. She knew it was wrong and that he never meant to hurt her, yet the feelings were there and wouldn't go away just by wishing them gone. She was smart, she was compassionate, but somewhere a line had been crossed that was hard to cross once more.

She knew the one who followed her was there to make sure she was safe, to guide her and help her understand.

She found solace in his embrace and comfort in his touch.

She knew something else had to be done to help her feel connected to herself again, so she sought the soothing sting of the needle to help her always remember who she truly was.

Later, after she reconnected with her friends, her shadow took her under his wing once more and just like she bared herself to him on a daily basis, he gave her the same gift in return. There was a lot of food for thought, but a good night's sleep was needed for he to be able to sort through all that was going on in her mind.

When she fell asleep she realized that no matter what happened, her beloved had her back in more ways than one.

…

**Day nineteen**

She thought she knew what to expect today, but life threw her another curve ball and she missed it by a mile.

For some reason logic and common sense abandoned her to leave an emotional mess in its wake. In her mind there was nobody to turn to who would truly understand her, so she turned away from them all and ran.

Neither her beloved nor her shadow followed her this time to keep her safe, even if it was from herself.

The cold air felt good on her heated skin and the wind told her she was alive and well. It energized her enough to see some of the errors that lead to the here and now, the point in her life where she was looking at too many forks in the road ahead.

Her gaze focuses on the horizon and when she lowers her eyes, it is as if all her prayers have been answered. She knows where to seek counsel from someone removed enough from the situation to be able to help her refocus and sort through all her thoughts.

With her mind made up she rises once more.

Hours later she arrives back home, her worries not squashed, but her mind at peace and she is once more sure of who she is.

She knows where she went wrong and lost herself. Now it will be time to repair the bridges she burned with her actions of late.

He is waiting for her, his mind in turmoil as to what exactly happened to them. He should have taken better care of her, made sure she knew she could always come to HIM. But now he is cursing ever having listened to her wishes. So much drama could have been avoided if she had agreed to the easy way instead of following the hardest path she could choose.

He needs to control the beast that wants to hurt her, punish her for the betrayal he feels and knows she didn't mean to cause.

So, instead of wrapping his hands around her neck and squeezing the everlasting shit out of her, he entwines his own fingers so hard the knuckles crack and pop.  
He walks with focus, making sure to put one foot in front of the other as to not be tempted to kick some sense into her.

He wants to know what she was thinking. He wants to know why she felt the need to betray him the way she did. He tries his hardest to make his voice sound calm and controlled when he feels like screaming inside. From the look on her face and the posture she presents he knows she knew how much she messed up before she faced him, yet face him she did.

He is interrupted before he can damage what they have, before any permanent cracks are created in the foundation that they have built together.

Never was he more thankful for his brother to face him and protect his light from being destroyed meaninglessly.

He knows when to retreat and that is what he does, once more leaving his heart with someone else to protect.

She knows she messed up badly when one brother has to stand up to the other just because of her lack of reasoning and common sense.

She knows that she has hurt both of them with her actions and yet they both make sure to do what's best for HER.

She will make amends and she will make them today. She is sick and tired of taking her worries and sorrows to bed with her.

When her protector is gone, with the air cleaner than before between them, she seeks out her destiny to ensure her forever is still in her cards.

He hears the door open, but doesn't lift his head.

She shudders when she steps under the freezing cascade, the sting showing her exactly how he feels right now.

He sees her hand slowly moving past him and the punishment he doled out for himself turns into something warm and soothing.

Her caress starts with the warming of his skin, now she only has to warm his heart once more. Ever so slowly she pushes both hands out and gently lays them on his chest. He doesn't even breathe, and she wonders if this is good or bad.

She shouldn't have worried, for his arms come up and crush her to him. It hurts, but she doesn't want to ever ask him to let her go. She is his and if this includes accepting pain then so be it. The embrace softens and she sighs in relief when his head lowers and her lips meet his.

The kiss should have been full of emotions and it is, but they are soft and understanding, not hard and punishing. His tongue traces her lips only for a few seconds before she opens them to welcome him home.

They stay like this for a long time and finally he turns the water off and wraps them both in towels. Together, hand in hand, they walk into the bedroom and lay down, side by side, on the large bed.

"I am sorry," she tells him in between soft kisses.

"I should have been there," he laments while returning the favour.

"I will make it up to you," she promises.

"There is no need," he assures and pulls her close again.

"I love you," she reiterates.

"Not as much as I love you," he counters and she smirks at the corniness.

"Make up sex?" She wiggles her eyebrows and he laughs out loud.

"I don't care as long as I have you by my side," he repeats and silences her answer with kisses.

They are taking their time, refreshing their memory with new images of their bodies. Finally he hovers over her, his length pressed against her wet core, and he pushes inside her while staring deep into her eyes.

She closes hers with all the sensations overwhelming her, but opens them to be able to see the effect she has on him.

His rhythm is gentle and loving, there is no comparison to the make up sex they had the last time. This, this is making love and reassuring the connection they hold is still there.  
She opens her arms and legs wider, welcoming him into her body before pulling him so much closer.

One would have assumed that this takes a long time, but neither one expected to be overwhelmed by emotions and their respective releases come faster than they would have preferred.

She knows she has to leave him one more time before they will be together.

He thinks of all the arguments he can bring forth to make her stay the night, but once more his love for her and the need to respect her wishes wins out over his own wants and needs. He lets her go with the knowledge that, come tomorrow, nothing will hold him back.

…

**Day twenty / present**

Her mind is in uproar, the waiting game is killing her. Why, oh why, did she not listen to him? She could have been watching all this from the safety of his arms and yet she is out in the open, close to her friends, but also her enemies.

They chat about what tomorrow might bring and the future holds until a microphone squeals somewhere.

Everyone looks up to see Eric standing on top of a table. He gives a short speech about what Dauntless means and welcomes the new members, but then comes the part she is most interested in, just like everyone else.

"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked," Eric says. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores - the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

As soon as the "me" leaves his mouth, the names appear in the screen, which is almost as large as the wall itself.

She goes through the list with an almost clinical interest.

1\. Tris

2\. Uriah

3\. Lynn

4\. Marlene

5\. Peter

6\. Will

7\. Christina

8\. Ava

9\. Hunter

10\. Gordon

11\. Molly

12\. Drew

13\. Daniel

14\. Oscar

The last four will fall victim to the final cut. Thank god it is over for this year, she thinks.

All around her people are celebrating.

Max comes over to the two tables holding the newly minted members and gives his own speech.

"I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you once more into Dauntless. Our initiation is nothing to joke about as you can all attest by now. We want to have the members that will persevere and thrive in harsh circumstances. You all have proven to me, my fellow leaders and your trainers that you have got what it takes to help us make this city safer for everyone. No matter what job you will be granted tomorrow, each one of you is needed here and we do appreciate the commitment that was shown throughout the last twenty-one days."

Max pauses and takes his time to look around and really take us in. His eyes linger on each face, making eye contact and conveying a personal message when he does so. Behind him, I notice, most of the members have moved the party into the Pit and the mass exodus leaves the people that really mattered as well as close family of those Dauntless-born initiates still present.

Max finally continues and I pay attention to him once more. "Now I want to let you in on a little trade secret."

He waves at the group behind him without looking back. "Those people made you into what you have become today. Their tactics shaped the soldiers you have become. Their commitment to your training paid off tenfold. Their dedication to get you to rise above and beyond what you thought yourself capable of deserves all our respect. But..."

Max pauses for enhanced dramatic effect, "they are not the enemy. What you need to realize is that they are not sadistic. They do not get off from your pain. They do not want to see you fail and they most certainly do not relish making people factionless. All of what you have been put through they had to endure during their own training and initiation. It made them stronger and, just like you, they have created unbreakable bonds."

Eric, Four and Lauren take this as their cue to smile and high five each other when they see the unbelieving faces right in front of them.

"I think I should congratulate you three on an amazing and very convincing theatrical performance. You sure had the rest of Dauntless entertained."

Max takes another pause to let everyone fully digest what has been told. "I will encourage you to celebrate tonight, but I am asking you to remember that you have to meet me and the other leaders to discuss job opportunities in the morning."

With that said, Max steps back, but doesn't leave. Oh no, he stays real close because he knows what is about to happen next. The bombshell of the century is about to explode, and he wants to have front row seats.

I stick out my tongue his way and he blows me a kiss to which Christina elbows me hard. "What was that?!" she asks just as Eric steps up to speak and I decide to just smile at her.

Eric clears his throat loudly and all noise stops. "Thank you. I wanted to let you know that my door is always open for any of you should you have questions or concerns. We here in Dauntless listen to all our members, may it be complaints, suggestions for improvement or anything else. All leadership offices are on level eight, feel free to come up early. I also wanted to remind you that when we talk to you tomorrow you will be given your apartments and access cards. Depending on the professions you choose the apartments will vary slightly. The higher the position, be bigger the apartment." He grins at that while pointing at himself and Max. "You are allowed to share with someone, and we will allocate accordingly, so no worries about having to share a bedroom if you are not a couple."

Eric steps back and Four takes centre stage. "We also want to let you know that the training room is always open and if you are lacking training partners to simply let one of us know. Just because we move back to our everyday jobs doesn't mean we are unwilling to help you. Max and Eric will be found all over the faction, but the leadership offices are a good start. I will be back in the control room after a short time out to catch up on some much-needed sleep, and Lauren can be found either in the weapons lab or computer lab. So, thank you for not killing us during your training and we hope to entertain you during next year's initiation."

Four steps back and Lauren simple calls out "What they said!", which causes a round of laughter.

"Now that all is said and done, we can finally celebrate." Eric claps his hands in glee. "My wife and I wanted to invite you over to our place, if you are willing, that is."

And there is utter silence until Christina can't hold it in any longer. "Your wife?!" She sounds so disbelieving; I have to laugh out loud. "Oh, shut up, Tris. Don't tell me you would have expected him to be married. Nobody ever talked about Mr. Cruel and Sadistic having a wife," she exclaims rather loudly.

"Hey, I am neither of those. I am just a very talented leader that knows how to put fear into initiates," Eric exclaims and Christina blushes.

"I am in," Four states and walks right up to Eric, giving him a man hug and some weird handshake.

"Me too," Zeke shouts and drags Shauna with him to join Eric and Four.

"We are finally allowed to drink alcohol?" Uriah questions.

"I do have some, yes," Eric replies and that brings Uriah and the rest of the Dauntless-born over the imaginary line.

Without a word I start to walk, but Christina grabs my hand. "Tris?" she sounds confused and I just hug her and smile before turning around and walking over to Eric.

He looks at me and then pulls me in close. I can hear choking sounds and can't help myself when I turn around in his arms and look for the cause of it.

My laughter is immediate when I spot Peter and his bullies looking like they are about to suffocate.

I should feel for them, but I really can't bring myself to show compassion. I know they are not really dying, but merely experiencing symptoms of utter shock and disbelief.

"Want me to go and check on them?" Four offers, but it is Christina who ends up walking over and slapping each one hard on the back, and when this doesn't work, onto their cheeks. The sound of skin in skin rings loudly in the almost empty dining hall and I am barely able to suppress another chuckle.

"I think they are all better now," Christina states when she moves to stand beside me. "Care to explain?"

"Later," I mumble, and she nods.

"As I said," Eric speaks up again, "my wife" he kisses my head "and I are happy to have you over tonight to celebrate passing your initiation and becoming full members. Those of you who failed are still welcome to join us for a last night together, we will try our best to not rub it into your face," he solemnly promises.

And that is how we leave the dining hall as one big group. There is a steady rhythm of feet leading us to the elevator bank that leads to the majority of Dauntless' apartments.

Eric slides his card through the reader, and we all pile in. It is a tight fit, but I am not in the least bothered. The closer I am to Eric the happier I feel and I know it is the same for him.

We made it, we are out in the open and there will be no more secrets surrounding us.

The elevator ride is jerky and when the doors open on level ten those closest to the door are stumbling out rather ungracefully.

Eric allows me the honour of opening our door and we lead them into the living are which we had prepared in advance.

Drinks and snacks are waiting and we all fall into comfortable chatter.

Finally Christina sees her opening and once more asks about our marriage. This seems to be of interested to all those who did not know prior to today and everyone gets quiet in order to be able to listen.

"We have known each other for years," I start and hear Molly huff in disbelief.

"Have you ever heard of the Divergent program?" I ask Christina as she was the one to get me to talk.

"I heard rumours, but never anything concrete," she admits and a lot of people around her nod to show it is the same for them.

"Well, as you all heard of its existence I am going to tell you that it is indeed something we have here in Chicago. Our city was founded by the principle of having five different characteristics. Those were considered separate entities and in most cases they are."

I pause to look around me. It is nice to see everyone paying attention.

"Divergent is the term used for people who show more than one aptitude. They display characteristics of more than one faction and hence have trouble knowing how to fit in. It is still different to someone being born into one faction but realizing he or she should be somewhere else."

Eric squeezes me tightly and I take a moment to enjoy it.

"What our leaders figured out many years ago is that Divergents are a great benefit to our society, but they do need extra help growing up and finding out who they truly are. Leadership for each faction agreed to bring those that showed promise to be divergent together for extracurricular activities, one could call it. My parents transferred from different factions to Abnegation and for them it was quite easy to spot that I showed a lot of traits of Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless. So they enrolled me into the program. There I have met Eric and Four," I smile at them, "as well as Uriah." That causes gasps from the Dauntless-born.

"I always thought your mom was nuts to drag you out of the compound every weekend," Lynn declares with sudden understanding as to what he really has been up to.

"Yes, we all met on the weekends. We actually met at school," I state, and it is followed by a chorus of groans.

"That explains how you met, but not why you are married. When did that happen?" Christina wants to know.

"There are some additional rules and laws that cover Divergents," Eric speaks up for the first time.

"When I chose Dauntless, I was granted, under their law, to marry whoever I chose. This included a dependent whose parents had to allow said union. Now, the tricky part would be that Tris was still stuck in Abnegation."

He pauses for dramatic effect. "Divergents can take the aptitude test before their sixteenth birthday, once more with parental permission, and choose a faction. Tris did this, but her parents asked her to wait until she reached the right age to officially transfer as they knew how hard initiation was on the body and mind."

Eric stops to look around the group hanging on his every word.

"So, if you combine those two things it means I was able to marry my Dauntless dependent, but we were forced to wait until now to make it official."

And there is silence until Will speaks up. "Well, it does make sense," he declares, and Christina elbows him. "What?! I am only stating the truth," he looks annoyed.

"Yes, but come on. Why don't they tell everyone?" Christina is like a dog with a bone.

"What would that have changed?" Four speaks up. "The existence of Divergents is not broadcast to protect us and give us the chance to experience growing up in one faction without prejudice or being singled out for being different. And let's not forget that not all parents or guardians are willing to acknowledge their child is different."

I can see the lightbulbs go on in their heads.

"Come on, guys. Do I look different to you just because you know this about me?" Uriah asks bravely. When they all shake their heads, he yells "Then let's celebrate!"

And party we do well into the night. When it all comes to an end I am standing with Eric by the door with and wish them all a good night after reminding them to not spread what they learned today.

Once the last one is out the door he turns me back to him.

"You are amazing and I am so grateful I get to spend the rest of my life with you!"

I smile at him and then state out loud. "Take me to bed, husband!"

**THE END****  
**


End file.
